Martin Geddes @martingeddes
When I struggle to focus and get work done I have to engage self-compassion; the anxiety comes from trauma, and I am not lazy or weak for experiencing it. Small administrative tasks (we're talking silly stuff like updating my credit card on an art website) can trip me up, as everything "administrative" is now hostile and provocative.

It feels pathetic, until you remember that "administration" has been enslaving us all and killing our loved ones. Silent weapons can leave you "self-gaslighting" as you deny your own invisible wounds.

When I feel a freeze response it can snowball, as I then worry about doing what needs to be done and earning a living. It is very hard for me to just accept I have done enough already and if I have to coast for a bit and just be looked after by supporters then that's not a failure.

A collapsed financial system would paradoxically make the economic side of all this much easier to deal with.
07:01 AM - Mar 18, 2023
Only people mentioned by martingeddes in this post can reply
Katie Walden @Kelpiegirl
22 March, 05:37
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
I get it Martin. I have 'form-itis', triggered by having to fill out endless forms, having to follow up and perform admin tasks because mistakes on files and lack of care delay us from getting support. I have that freeze response in my study and in getting simple admin jobs done. I get it. 100%.

Tackling bits at a time, I'm praying about it, looking for supps to support me. Starting Lion's Mane today for cognitive responses.

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Sherrae Nichole @raeamoonwisp
20 March, 10:44
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
I know what you mean MG--I feel you, I hear you, I support you and you are so incredible. TBH, I feel relatively close to what you are experiencing. I can't sync a connection with people IRL--none of them wish to experience our sacred world here...they don't get the process or struggles...the fears, the doubts, the dreams...and it truly is the system holding us back, because even our own are so addicted to drama vs getting clear about their own center point. People like you and I find peace in our artistic whimsy. Our soul poetry, your photography, my digital design and spiritual alchemy...While trying to teach the world to be whole and just live again, in the moment. I feel lonely online and on Earth...it is only when zi am truly alone in my art and close to God listening to music that I feel most in my element...The truth is...I just need one best friend, a future partner, my divine love to manifest and be whole himself...So we can create magic together. My dream dude is also an arti

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Sherrae Nichole @raeamoonwisp
20 March, 10:46
In response Sherrae Nichole to her Publication
least our own universe together and sure...a heartbeat in real to rest NY head on would be nice too...Sick of not having real love...I am not forcing or rushing...just losing my hope because it seems like I wake up daily and the endless keeps burying me vs reaching for me for once. The purpose is love. To be love and loved. With that comes time alone with my partner, nurturing, watering our love, adventuring together, not apart, and making fireworks for the world. Love also needs the world to understand the sacrice our family has made for them and not us and we feel very drained and abused by our own "fans".

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Qbero Gil Vega @Qbero17
20 March, 02:34
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Watching all of your savings disappear due to FED central bank inflation is enough to demotivate anyone. At least I bought some XRP and silver!!!

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Qbero Gil Vega @Qbero17
20 March, 02:23
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Captured my thoughts exactly. Been feeling that way for over a year. Thank you for sharing. Any tips?

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Kyle Patriot @SheepNoMore11
20 March, 08:22
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Thank you, Martin. 👍

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Meg Jay @HappiLove
20 March, 03:46
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
🙏 Martin. I know what you mean. I allow my self to cry when this happens to me. I mean really cry.

It seems to move the physical heaviness and allow a kind of direct communication with my heart that somehow moves me back to a base centre and have energy to push forward- as well as feeling connected to something greater.

I really appreciate your open discussions about these things, it helps us all, I’m sure

🙏🙏🙏

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Mama Tee donated @MamaT
20 March, 12:35 (E)
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
You have posted my own frustrations friend. The ability to even create is not there. Administrative duties are abhorrent to me now after so much disruptive de-platforming. I'm still censored.

Making peace with this has been my hardest hurdle to overcome. I'm still walking through its frustration. God knows. He hears me daily in this. ❤

The disconnect from their matrix is an imbalance for all of us. This is why we need each other.

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trudy Q17 donated @BigDaddysLightWarrior
20 March, 12:23
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Oh Martin, I feel for you...I used to be so friggin organised & everything was a breeze, now I struggle to pay bills online & keep up to date with paperwork or to even make phone calls...I feel so disconnected from the matrix, that when something needs to be attended to, I put it off until the very last minute.

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arba happihr @arba
19 March, 06:46
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
MArtin You've got this!
One day at a time
I'm guilty Too
We deal with things when we can.
My new way of thinking.
Put it on the list. 👋

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Peaceful Warrior @peacefulwarrior
19 March, 04:43
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Martin, a wise woman told me recently...Cindy, be still. Go inward. Listen.

Please love yourself as much as we, your soul family, love you.

You are dear to us.💗

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PeQQy 222 @KnotMe
19 March, 04:22
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
I get that, I have been apathetic to all 'worldly' chores for a couple of years now. You should see the pile of mail I can't be bothered to open even one because it all seems so pointless. All this bullshit just going away would be so sweet but it seems less and less likely every day because so many people just depend on the status quo to make things go around. I don't want to go back to being part of that world.I don't think I could.

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I Am 354 ThatwhichisTwelve @S33K3R
19 March, 02:09
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
PTSD is a very Real thing, Patriot.
Allow yourself whatever Grace feels good.
Battle tested and weary, I find balance in "surrender" to things that seem small....

Like a whole day on the couch watching whatever floats my Durham boat.

Cheers, Love, & Light!
😇✌🙏

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Momma Bear @ur1spark
19 March, 12:25
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Oh gosh, I often say, especially during tax season, administrative duties are the absolute bane of my existence. My "avoidance behavior" is off the charts for such things. I used to think I was lazy and irresponsible because of it. Then, I agreed with suggestions that "creative people just don't tend to those things well". Could be that in part. But now...I've come to realize that it's just my gut reaction to our enslavement. I loathe bureaucracy, banks and government. Ha, lightbulb moment...maybe it actually does go back to "creative people are FREE spirits! Don't be hard on yourself, Martin. As I've gotten older, i realize there are many more of us than you'd guess.

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Anuenue Patriot @Anuenue
20 March, 02:29
In response Momma Bear to her Publication
Same for me. I realized I am incensed over having to render unto illegitimate caesar that sends our resources to hell and back on my back.

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Ange Love @LoveMlaw1111
19 March, 12:19
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Martin, I feel this pain also and is the reason I stopped using my IPad and laptop. They lock you out, creating much difficulty trying to just open your own personal device. It's like applying for a financial loan just trying to open your own bought and paid for device! Pissed me off so much, I just stopped using them. And this same bs is with trying to order anything online anymore. NO, I'm not applying for a loan, just trying to shop!

I'll wait until the swamp is DEAD!!!

I'll wait for our new Starlink and phones, utilizing clean energy and efficiency!!!

Until then🙏🏻peace, love and joy in the smallest detail of my day✨🕊❤️🤗

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TxGirl4Trump -UM donated @TexasGirl4Trump
19 March, 12:16
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Amen!!

Same 🙋‍♀️ It’s that Deep State “Guilt” and “Shame” curse that over comes us!! Fook Them!

It almost feels like we “Silently Protest” by not completing these Mundane easy tasks!! 🤷‍♀️

I agree, a complete financial collapse and overhaul… would wipe our slates clean and help us to feel that triumph that we deserve!!
🙌 Let’s Go Q!!

We need OUR Reset!! 🙏

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Age of Enlightenment @Sparrows
19 March, 12:16
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Some days I have felt completely non functioning. Patience with self has been a big lesson as this war has drawn on so long.

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Blinky Blinx donated @Blinkyblinx
19 March, 11:57
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Thanks Martin, perfectly said as always. You always put into words what is in our heart but our brains don’t always know how to explain it. ❤️🙏

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Michele hoffman @LuddyDundrums
19 March, 11:49
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
When someone is your family, you FEEL it. I love you Martin.

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Just Amom @wwg1wgaww
19 March, 04:16
In response Michele hoffman to her Publication
✨💖✨

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Whites QWall donated @QTip75
19 March, 07:50
In response Michele hoffman to her Publication
I used to sit Indian style in the grass when I was 5 or 6 or so and just pluck blades up and feel the resistance while sensing everything around me. Feeling the cloud shadows and sunlight move over me. I wasn’t smiling of course because I was contented. I’m sure my parents thought I was sad.

I wasn’t :)

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MARY L. KIRBY BRYANT @MARYLKIRBYBRYANT
19 March, 11:46
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
😇🙏😘THOSE ARE THE TIMES WE PRAY HARDER AND ARE GENTLER TO OURSELVES WE ALL HAVE A DAILY BATTLE WE ALL HAVE A DAILY BLESSING REGARDLESS OF HOW SMALL OR LARGE IT IS THANKFUL AND GRATEFUL FOR OUR DAILY BREAD FROM GOD OUR FATHER AMEN HAVE A PEACEFUL DAY MARTIN

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Hope Always888 @HopeAlways888
19 March, 11:44
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
You always seem to experience the same feelings I am having at the same exact time, lol. I am not alone.

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TheBest isYet2Come @Candidiam17
19 March, 11:41
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Feel the same every so often! I am comfortable with confrontations... if needed... but procrastinate going to my bank for cash because I know I will lose it with them if they give me any fuckology! And I don't want to deal with the stress of it. Got put on unpaid leave for non-compliance, emailed the governor with some documents, got it back... but tired of having to fight every single minute!!!

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JVBanon nonaBVJ @JVBanon
19 March, 11:40
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Another great post! Thanks Martin hang in there buddy we're almost there ;) Thought for the day: Do stupid things expect stupid prizes! LOL

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JAde Roiste @Ehcor
18 March, 10:23
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
Losing my job because of mandates and then not working for 15 months made me uneasy for a while. If I had really tried I could have got a job (not in my profession) Financially the universe provided. (otherwise known as welfare) so I allowed myself the downtime. When the time was right, the right job came along. (Although interesting that it is in the most 'woke' high school in the district - I am where I'm supposed to be I guess!) Fully charged but calm in my understanding of the situation. After spending most of 2020 in lockdown in Melbourne, My flatmate returned (Anti Q, Anti Trump, but unvaccinated) after a 15 year adventure in Australia she feels as if her life has just stopped. She's retired and lack of money is now holding her back. She finally realised that the last few years have been probably THE most significant analytic, psychological, consciousness awakening experience of her life! We need to be easier on ourselves - This is A LOT! My motto 'Just do what you can'

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some one special to some @godrus
18 March, 07:41
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
and 'those silly administrative details' like failing to update that credit card on a website, can have huge and expensive consequences. I did that last - forgot to update. Boy will I sure be happy when we are less governed by vexatious details like this. Wouldn't it be nice if stuff was just a free service? Every bit of our lives is monetized and penalized.
It's exhausting to just be one person keeping up with all the vagaries of living.
Saps creativity.

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