When I struggle to focus and get work done I have to engage self-compassion; the anxiety comes from trauma, and I am not lazy or weak for experiencing it. Small administrative tasks (we're talking silly stuff like updating my credit card on an art website) can trip me up, as everything "administrative" is now hostile and provocative.

It feels pathetic, until you remember that "administration" has been enslaving us all and killing our loved ones. Silent weapons can leave you "self-gaslighting" as you deny your own invisible wounds.

When I feel a freeze response it can snowball, as I then worry about doing what needs to be done and earning a living. It is very hard for me to just accept I have done enough already and if I have to coast for a bit and just be looked after by supporters then that's not a failure.

A collapsed financial system would paradoxically make the economic side of all this much easier to deal with.

I know what you mean MG--I feel you, I hear you, I support you and you are so incredible. TBH, I feel relatively close to what you are experiencing. I can't sync a connection with people IRL--none of them wish to experience our sacred world here...they don't get the process or struggles...the fears, the doubts, the dreams...and it truly is the system holding us back, because even our own are so addicted to drama vs getting clear about their own center point. People like you and I find peace in our artistic whimsy. Our soul poetry, your photography, my digital design and spiritual alchemy...While trying to teach the world to be whole and just live again, in the moment. I feel lonely online and on Earth...it is only when zi am truly alone in my art and close to God listening to music that I feel most in my element...The truth is...I just need one best friend, a future partner, my divine love to manifest and be whole himself...So we can create magic together. My dream dude is also an arti