Martin Geddes donated @martingeddes
18 March, 07:01
When I struggle to focus and get work done I have to engage self-compassion; the anxiety comes from trauma, and I am not lazy or weak for experiencing it. Small administrative tasks (we're talking silly stuff like updating my credit card on an art website) can trip me up, as everything "administrative" is now hostile and provocative.

It feels pathetic, until you remember that "administration" has been enslaving us all and killing our loved ones. Silent weapons can leave you "self-gaslighting" as you deny your own invisible wounds.

When I feel a freeze response it can snowball, as I then worry about doing what needs to be done and earning a living. It is very hard for me to just accept I have done enough already and if I have to coast for a bit and just be looked after by supporters then that's not a failure.

A collapsed financial system would paradoxically make the economic side of all this much easier to deal with.

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some one special to some @godrus
and 'those silly administrative details' like failing to update that credit card on a website, can have huge and expensive consequences. I did that last - forgot to update. Boy will I sure be happy when we are less governed by vexatious details like this. Wouldn't it be nice if stuff was just a free service? Every bit of our lives is monetized and penalized.
It's exhausting to just be one person keeping up with all the vagaries of living.
Saps creativity.
07:41 AM - Mar 18, 2023
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