The truth can difficult very difficult. When I first started in research there were various phases I went through. Anger… disbelief… shock… the deeper I went… I felt sick… disturbed… depressed. Whats even harder… is when you wake up and begin to realize how many are asleep. We often forget what we endured… the anxiety… the restless nights… the dreams of knowing… Knowing truth is one thing… but processing truth varies… What helped me deal with the process was God. In prayer yeilding myself to the spirit of God. Asking the Lord for wisdom…. for strength. Taking comfort in His Word. I do not know how I would have been able to process the evils that I was exposed to without Him. 😔

I feel exactly like you. When I felt I didn’t know what to do, where to turn, or what to believe as I was processing things, I turned to God. He is the only thing I am truly sure of with all that is happening. He is with me therefore who can be against me. Im still processing as new things come up. Disturbing, unsettling, disheartening things. I too pray for wisdom and strength as I continue learning more. Full of ups and downs. I am so blessed for all that I have and for what my life has been that I feel joyful and so grateful for life here on earth. But then I feel low, sick when I learn of another horror happening. God is with us. If we remember nothing else, cling to God is with us. ❤️

Amen