Truly sorry for your pain, sending you peace and comfort. Have lived this myself, and expect more will come to pass in my life before this Work is complete. You are in plentiful company.
Draw closer to God, have Faith in His promises. I can speak from experience. He always lets us know change is coming, heed the whispered knowledge (as waiting for it to grow louder only prolongs pain and delays your progress). Please, don't let your mind linger where you are no longer residing in spirit...trust, pray, take a deep breath. He has time and again shown me that where we would settle, He intends greater blessings instead. Go boldly in Faith. This I know, and can assure you is true.