So will I ever be able to connect to my spiritual side since my mom had me vaccinated until I was 18 and then Ive had the flu shot every year since then?

You simply asking this question is an answer. You are connected. Spirit is stronger than anything physical. And prayer is your most powerful weapon.

I sometimes feel like I'm not doing something right though. I keep hearing that you have to find yourself and know what your purpose is and I'm not sure how to do that. I've always believed in the Lord but only a couple months ago actually included him in my life. I feel something but not sure what. I believe it was Kim Clements that said figure out the gift God gave you and use it. Whether it's dreams or whatever. (Not quoting) I'm scared that I don't know how to do that.