...THEY WOULD HAVE TO SHOOT ME!

I wouldn't....and I couldn't!

I could never understand how my siblings could stand by as my mom tried to kill me.

When older my sister said...it was harder on her watching..she brought it up...I hadn't started remembering till her comment.

Humm...NO it was not harder watching...
but I am sure it was traumatic too.
Bad part is..when you watch and take NO ACTION...you pay a price for not taking action.
When these idiots defend people from a bad home repeating what was done...

IT IS ALL FREE WILL.
I CHOOSE to not do what was done to me.
It is choice. Recall really bad thoughts...I did NOT act on them...later realized where those thoughts came from.
IT IS STILL CHOICE.

..and Forgiveness is choice too.
That does NOT eliminate CONSEQUENCES.