Kris Williams
@KrisWilliams
18 September, 05:27
Interesting personal note here.
As you all know, my dad was gay pedo. No idea what to call my real dad, but he was a boy scout leader and Football/Baseball coach and my mom and my 6 year old self caught my dad at boyscout camp with him naked in a bed with a young boy.
But I can remember when I was a little baby and my dad carried me around, He went to give me a kiss on the lips and I bit him and I bit him hard, and my dad either pretended to drop me or did, and I shimmied down his leg.
I heard in one of those videos and saw that Will Smith kissed his kids on the lips, especially his son. And overly did it too! And Jayden looked like it repulsed him.
In my family with my mom, we didn't kiss on the lips. Always on the cheek or forehead. So I am wondering now if this is also a tell tale sign of this warped and disgusting mentality?
As you all know, my dad was gay pedo. No idea what to call my real dad, but he was a boy scout leader and Football/Baseball coach and my mom and my 6 year old self caught my dad at boyscout camp with him naked in a bed with a young boy.
But I can remember when I was a little baby and my dad carried me around, He went to give me a kiss on the lips and I bit him and I bit him hard, and my dad either pretended to drop me or did, and I shimmied down his leg.
I heard in one of those videos and saw that Will Smith kissed his kids on the lips, especially his son. And overly did it too! And Jayden looked like it repulsed him.
In my family with my mom, we didn't kiss on the lips. Always on the cheek or forehead. So I am wondering now if this is also a tell tale sign of this warped and disgusting mentality?
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I dont think it is as clear cut as that...
I kissed my son on the lips but there is no ill intent and so it was not with any underlying sexual shame...
As a baby/child you will have felt what was within your father.. you sensed his energy because babies and children feel their parent/carers inner worlds... its survival and as a baby you felt and responded to that...
My son never felt it because it was not in me.. but I do think only parents have that intimacy.. I asked my mum not to kiss my son on the lips... and as he is older I try to offer him something else.. like my ear or elbow...
Its the shame that is the damage you felt and feared... and that is very sad that as a baby you were so unsafe with your father that you had to bite him to protect yourself...
I kissed my son on the lips but there is no ill intent and so it was not with any underlying sexual shame...
As a baby/child you will have felt what was within your father.. you sensed his energy because babies and children feel their parent/carers inner worlds... its survival and as a baby you felt and responded to that...
My son never felt it because it was not in me.. but I do think only parents have that intimacy.. I asked my mum not to kiss my son on the lips... and as he is older I try to offer him something else.. like my ear or elbow...
Its the shame that is the damage you felt and feared... and that is very sad that as a baby you were so unsafe with your father that you had to bite him to protect yourself...
05:54 PM - Sep 18, 2024
In response Kris Williams to her Publication
Only people mentioned by antidote528 in this post can reply
Kris Williams
@KrisWilliams
18 September, 06:11
In response Least Invasive Most Effective to her Publication
TY!!! It feels good to get all this out as for years I had suppressed many a thing and had no one to talk to. Although I do think I have dealt with pretty much all my past, it is little things like this that trigger a memory.
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Least Invasive Most Effective
@antidote528
18 September, 07:59
In response Kris Williams to her Publication
Yes... you are meassured... I feel you as being integrated but also bravely sharing something pertinent to the nature of what it is we are collectively unpacking...
Thank you... you are the vessell
Thank you... you are the vessell
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Kris Williams
@KrisWilliams
18 September, 06:09
In response Least Invasive Most Effective to her Publication
I can remember being little and I loved watching the one time he let me watch him shave, I tried to go back in and watch again, but I accidentally walked in when he was naked and he literally screamed at me and told me never ever to come in again without knocking. As a little itty bitty kid, I think this affected me more than I can recall, even now.
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