This is my reality… another 6 months of HIV meds collected today. Refused their kind offers of flu and monkeypox jabs. Seems like I am trending towards osteoporosis as side effect of pharma after a few years. Have no idea what I have inside me, if anything, or what good these pills might do.

I have lived hard and fast over a long period, so possibly dying young is not a surprise to me. In a way, not giving a **** about my own welfare has been liberating, because I could do the rather extreme Q analyst job without concern about consequences or my safety.

I look forward to the truth coming out about Fauci and the HIV bioweapon. There seem to be cures at the ready. I kind of live healthily, except when I don’t, if you get my oblique message. Am not sure if I ever will find my way to tamed domesticity… has eluded me. Longevity sounds like a bit of a curse, given all I have endured.

I would rather people see the messy fuller picture than idolise some polished avatar.

I understand some of what you wrote. I feel that way about whatever my family was hit with. I want to know what is inside my body now. I can feel my heart beats differently as a result of it and I can barely stand & walking hurts. I want my old body back before I got sick. Sure I had aches and pains but nothing like I live with now. With every day of this movie I get more angry. I just want people like us healed.