I hit a metaphorical wall a week ago. Just couldn’t face leaving London to sit alone up north participating in tedious fights with corrupt bureaucrats. Felt the burden of injustice and uncertainty dragging. Tired of financial stress. Upset by a relationship mishap. Unable to reconcile my spiritual leanings with my crazy urbanite life.

Didn’t have a good week. Won’t relay the gory mess. A very low point was when I denied myself grace and mercy for my follies. I felt hopelessly permanently defined by my less wise choices. Decided I was doomed to eternal failure in some aspects of life, especially having a life partner. Just wanted it to end. “Screw this stupid war, give me fun and do it now!”.

Am still here. One magical moment. As I headed off to do something inadvisable, a man stood outside Tower Hill tube preaching how the Bible says we are innately sinful and drawn to unrighteous things. He could never have known which passerby would be tuned in to what he said.

But I was.

God speaks to us in so many different ways…..more than I think we realize….so many times we don’t listen, other times we seem to intuitivly know and he grabs our attention. There are no coincidences Martin. He will pull you through this, you are important to him and you are important to us. :).

The closer we get to the end, the more evil ups it’s game. I feel it now more than ever and sometimes it really sucks. Lately it seems every little bad thing I’ve ever done pops into my head. Things I had buried a long time ago and fogotten. Why now? Maybe we are just supposed to remember, repent, ask forgiveness and move on in Gods grace. Maybe it’s His way of preparing us by doing some heavy duty Spring cleaning. Whatever it is, I believe we are being tested.

We stick together and we make it! All of us! Keep the faith my friend.❤️❤️

oh yes, the evil upped his game and yes it sucks. yes every bad thing i’ve ever done too bout knocks me down. so i do what i know, confess, repent, ask forgiveness, and doing my best to move into His Grace instead of blame. thanks for your words. its where i am at now