Everything on tv or social media is staged or manipulated. Same on the streets for important occasions. Actors or especially selected people everywhere. Fake news all the time. Not people like us, or at least not like me. That's why your posts here are so appreciated. VK once said that the patriots would use the system's propaganda power instead of destroying it. Dispite of what you have seen and lived, for now I can only hope that there is still hope for Brasil and for us all.
Denial definitively is a health threat (I almost died from congenital denial). Go within, pray, and listen. You might get an answer from God -as joy, first, but so comforting...I hope that you will find peace. (...)

It's not as hard to get an answer as they want it to seem (to keep people in their control). If you no longer cling to things outside and really mean business with God, you can live it too. And it would be a new beginning, a new kind of life. Being disapointed from the world is a well known maturity thing - a painful "gift of science", that's how it's called if the translation is accurate. Don't stop there, there is so much to discover after that!
God bless you.