Serah Oceane ♡
@QueenEsther
03 January, 10:47
Confession:
I went quiet on you guys, I walled off and shut you out and for that I'm sorry. 😔 I convinced myself no one cares anyways. I have struggled for a long time now with PTSD, anxiety and depression. You wouldn't even know it because I hide it so well 😅 I have lied and said I'm happy when I'm not so I didn't have to feel isolated. It's a constant internal battle to be honest about when I'm in pain because in the past it's been met with abandonment. I learned to perform so I wouldn't be alone. Even if I was in anguish inside you'd never know on the outside because I bury it. Even now as I type this I can feel that same fear that people will stop talking to me because I'm not posting only good things. I'm sorry I'm so fearful about sharing my negative emotions.
I went quiet on you guys, I walled off and shut you out and for that I'm sorry. 😔 I convinced myself no one cares anyways. I have struggled for a long time now with PTSD, anxiety and depression. You wouldn't even know it because I hide it so well 😅 I have lied and said I'm happy when I'm not so I didn't have to feel isolated. It's a constant internal battle to be honest about when I'm in pain because in the past it's been met with abandonment. I learned to perform so I wouldn't be alone. Even if I was in anguish inside you'd never know on the outside because I bury it. Even now as I type this I can feel that same fear that people will stop talking to me because I'm not posting only good things. I'm sorry I'm so fearful about sharing my negative emotions.
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Only thing I would change in this video is that when they say quiet people have anger; I would say it’s more great frustration than anger and others misconstrue your outburts because they don’t truly understand you (A counseling AhHa moment). Beautiful video though otherwise! 💯🌹♥️🥰
01:59 PM - Jan 03, 2023
In response Serah Oceane ♡ to her Publication
Only people mentioned by ShineBright9 in this post can reply
Serah Oceane ♡
@QueenEsther
03 January, 02:27
In response Stevie King to her Publication
I would agree with you it is more frustration than actual anger
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Stevie King
@ShineBright9
03 January, 02:58
In response Serah Oceane ♡ to her Publication
When it was told to me in counseling, my husband kept saying she’s just so angry & yells all the time, counselor looked at him & said do you understand the difference between anger & frustration, my husband gave him a puzzled look. Counselor went on to say your wife wears her heart on the outside unprotected & gives deeply from there; when she is not heard, attacked, threatened, ignored, disrespected, or belittled, she is deeply wounded & what better way to be heard than to yell. I just broke down & cried & couldn’t quit, looked at the counselor & said “finally someone who gets me!” (Narcissistic Ego, money leaverage, addiction behaviors are his, enabling, allowing & not setting boundaries were mine; with help we made it through to a better place, not perfect but better. Unfortunately, now our son struggles & mimics his father’s behaviors, but now I have the tools to withstand his arrows!🙏🙏🌹🌹
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