That is my major fear of losing my daughter that is Downs. She is my everything 💕 she is what keeps me going after all our family, including my husband left us. I also have an amazing son and 2 grandbabies that are my life as well. They all are equal in my heart, no matter what. My daughter is the only one with me and I would be so lost and empty without her. ( if any of this makes sense )

I understand what you think and feel. Downs people are exceptionally special people - God holds them in His hands, and He loves them even more than we do. My sister was 39, she was born with the hole in the center of her heart. Doctors said she would not live past her first birthday, then her 3rd, then her 5th, and then UCLA began doing a case study on her because she defied every odd. What they didn't know was that my mother was a prayer warrior of the highest level - and prayer kept my sister going. My mother died when my sister was 13. Even before that I had taken over all her care, when my sister died it was not only my sister but very much like my own child too because I became her surrogate mom.

I can tell you what I saw within minutes of my sisters death was so beautiful, so intensely joyful, colors and sunshine more intense than you can imagine - but the sheer happiness of my sister still carries me to this day. I can't be sad. She's too happy there - I can't wish her back.

Also, I fully expected to see her as a 39 year old Downs woman. What I saw was a little girl, aged about the same level as my sistern's earthly cognitive level. 4-5 years old. She was dressed in a pristine white dress, dancing barefoot on the greenest grass and she was twirling in circles and just laughing with such joy. She was free, she was who she was inside this earthly form - but in heaven she was a free spirit and who she was supposed to be.

Hard to explain - but again, although my heart absolutely broke when she died. The grief was so awful. Even with being immensely overwhelmed with sorrow. I could never wish her back after what I saw. Her joy was too complete, and she was safe - forever, no more worries about her.

The hard part was picking up and living. God gave me the strength for that too...