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Bootsie 1776
@JHPatriots
06 October, 03:35
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I thought of this question in recent years when considering why would people not recognize what was going on with the media presentation regarding the plandemic. The media was treating the people in an abusive manner, yet seemingly very few got that.
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⭐️⭐️⭐️Pepe Le Q~17⭐️⭐️⭐️
@TheQuietStorm17
06 October, 03:35
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
They’re in a mind trap. Similar to the one liberals are in… They think without their current circumstances they’ll have nowhere to go. When in actuality, there are people waiting in the wings with open arms, just hoping they’ll see the light!?
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Erin Larson
@GenealogistErin
04 October, 12:27
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I have read your comments and I do believe you are coming from a genuine and probably concerned space. With that said, pathologizing victims/survivors? If you're asking why some don't leave, then may I suggest part of the answer is in your question. It's almost the same as enabling the abuser, imo.
I applaud and send hugs to all that have shared their stories here. My own experience really (sadly) opened my eyes to what a failure the court system can be, among other things.
Abuse doesn't happen in a vacuum. Who is stopping the abuser? Why not concentrate on how we can stop abuse and abusers from continuing as opposed to blaming victims. My two cents,
I applaud and send hugs to all that have shared their stories here. My own experience really (sadly) opened my eyes to what a failure the court system can be, among other things.
Abuse doesn't happen in a vacuum. Who is stopping the abuser? Why not concentrate on how we can stop abuse and abusers from continuing as opposed to blaming victims. My two cents,
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Meggie Jam
@meggiejam
04 October, 11:30
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Wow! Powerful impact here. Never thought I would encounter abuse. Married late in life to a well establish man, former military, who had many mental issues that surfaced after we got together. Never experience abuse before until I met him. More emotional and mental abuse than anything. But recognized the signs right away. I stayed as long as I could since we had a grand baby to take care of. Once the mother got back on her feet 4 years later,baby went back to her and I packed up, let the house go into foreclosure, and left. I think my issue was I felt sorry for him and wanted him to be a better person. Never happened and I had to give up trying to help him. I've seen lots of friends who stay in abusive relationships, males and females. I don't judge anyone, just pray that one day they can get their life back together and leave the abuse. You can't change people and sometimes their issues are way beyond your pay grade. So stop trying. Sometimes we just have to be selfish and realize yo
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13007 ThisOrThat
@OneWayOrAnother
04 October, 10:03
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Bottomline . . . . FEAR & Programming.
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Awake Elf
@Awake_Elf
04 October, 09:57
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I had just turned 16, he was 28, need I say more :(
Took me 12 years to get out. I wish I had listened to my parents and I wish I had been more honest with them in those years as to how bad it was as they would have got me out, no one had a clue and feeling trapped is the most lonely feeling in the world.
Took me 12 years to get out. I wish I had listened to my parents and I wish I had been more honest with them in those years as to how bad it was as they would have got me out, no one had a clue and feeling trapped is the most lonely feeling in the world.
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Eowyn 777
@Eowyn777
04 October, 09:08
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I am one that left when abuse was on all levels...
but after 7 years..
my adult children and I were worse off than before..
we are back together after a struggle and I am better off than I was for those 7 years.
So, not the status quo.
Kinda feel like I got in the Hosea thingy.
but after 7 years..
my adult children and I were worse off than before..
we are back together after a struggle and I am better off than I was for those 7 years.
So, not the status quo.
Kinda feel like I got in the Hosea thingy.
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Eowyn 777
@Eowyn777
04 October, 09:22
In response Eowyn 777 to her Publication
BTW, worked in Family law in Harris County- TX during the 7 years-- courts I was in - victimized women had children ripped away from them and left with nothing.
Things have changed. No justice in the Family Court, regularly.
So, I decided that the 'abuse' could end if I changed my mind where it would not exist...
I am wife of his youth
I am mother of children
I am honored
I am worthy
I am life giver and nurturer of All things related to my family.
I would recover the things that had been stolen and destroyed from me and my family by the grace of God.
Not a victim.
Things have changed. No justice in the Family Court, regularly.
So, I decided that the 'abuse' could end if I changed my mind where it would not exist...
I am wife of his youth
I am mother of children
I am honored
I am worthy
I am life giver and nurturer of All things related to my family.
I would recover the things that had been stolen and destroyed from me and my family by the grace of God.
Not a victim.
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ElBurro Dorado
@thegoldenass
04 October, 08:18
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I see it as people just continuing to perform the dance they know; the dance their parents taught them. Once you are used to one way of being/interpreting/reacting in your relationships it is difficult to change. Finding a new dance teacher takes courage and time that a lot of people just don't think they have.
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Waiting4Home Anon
@Waiting4Home
04 October, 08:09
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Not until they "reach the precipice".. will they search for help... and for some - that is too late.....
Just like our jabbed loved ones. ;0(.
Just like our jabbed loved ones. ;0(.
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Waiting4Home Anon
@Waiting4Home
04 October, 08:07
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Whatever it is - it's the same sort of thing that gives grandma's the "right" to say - "we will not discuss science" or anything contrary to MY opinion if I say so...
No matter the piles of evidence....
Maybe a hormone?
I think some get so used to thinking they have to play a part - the truth doesn't matter at all.
No matter the piles of evidence....
Maybe a hormone?
I think some get so used to thinking they have to play a part - the truth doesn't matter at all.
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A Fellow Human
@AFellowHuman
04 October, 06:10
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
😢THEY THINK THEY DESERVE IT SOME HOW. THEY THINK THEY ARE NOT WORTHY OF A GOOD MAN/GOOD LIVE. NO SELF ESTEEM. HARD TO PICK YOURSELVE UP WHEN YOU HATE YOURSELF. THEY REALLY ARE STRONG HUMANS. HAVE WORKED WITH SEVERAL LADIES. SEEMS TO BE THE COMMON TRIATE.
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04 October, 06:09
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
There are so many different situations in this.
Many are verbal abuse or abusive Narcissistic relationships.
Many are not abuse but circumstances surrounding children.
Nana never suffered ANY physical abuse. My ex had a clear understanding from day one that if he ever laid a hand on me the sob would have to sleep sometime.
Mine turned into a drug addict alcoholic, we had to go thro a period of treatment tries and waiting til the kids finally decided that he would never love them enough to stop.
He was a fried pie years later before he died. There is a point imo when ppl take so many drugs for so long that their mind is simply not recoverable.
His sister was the same. She died of an overdose the night my son was killed in a wreck.
Many are verbal abuse or abusive Narcissistic relationships.
Many are not abuse but circumstances surrounding children.
Nana never suffered ANY physical abuse. My ex had a clear understanding from day one that if he ever laid a hand on me the sob would have to sleep sometime.
Mine turned into a drug addict alcoholic, we had to go thro a period of treatment tries and waiting til the kids finally decided that he would never love them enough to stop.
He was a fried pie years later before he died. There is a point imo when ppl take so many drugs for so long that their mind is simply not recoverable.
His sister was the same. She died of an overdose the night my son was killed in a wreck.
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Loret Alen
@Lorettamusic
04 October, 09:53
In response Angels Here -Z to her Publication
Sending hugs and prayers Nana, thanks for sharing this. You are such an inspiring woman, being such a light to others after so much darkness fell on you. I am proud to call you "fren". :)
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Miss. Messina
@Messina
04 October, 04:13
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
It’s different for everyone, for some it’s fear of provision , to another it’s traditional ( upbringing) to another it’s love misunderstood, to another it’s lack of confidence, to another it’s guilt by their church beliefs…… I could go on . Not sure there is a short answer. I believe it is a timely question that needs to be addressed, it’s time for woman in that situation to be set free , get their voice back within them and without fear of being punished because of it , starting with changing heart& thoughts beliefs with provision & support material wise . Some friends and I are doing that in the OC area here in Cali have seen tremendous results once the heart& mind beliefs are sorted out .Housing-seems to be the most difficult, working in that as well 🙏❤️
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Lisa Newnham
@ShinySHINY
04 October, 02:23
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
My Ma is now 61 and been with my Pap since she was 16. Hes been awful over the years so much it takes too long to put into words. I left the house at 16. He has mellowed somewhat with age but is still not what I would consider a loving husband. I wish she could have experienced love as it is supposed to be.
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kolibri
@kolibri
04 October, 12:42
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Stockholm Syndrome can be involved
Stockholm syndrome is a coping mechanism to a captive or abusive situation. People develop positive feelings toward their captors or abusers over time. This condition applies to situations including child abuse, coach-athlete abuse, relationship abuse and sex trafficking.
https://my.clevelandclinic...
Stockholm syndrome is a coping mechanism to a captive or abusive situation. People develop positive feelings toward their captors or abusers over time. This condition applies to situations including child abuse, coach-athlete abuse, relationship abuse and sex trafficking.
https://my.clevelandclinic...
Stockholm Syndrome: What It Is, Symptoms & How to Treat
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response, a survival instinct, in which captives develop positive feelings toward their hostage-takers.
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La Tutti UM_Q
@LaTutti_Q
04 October, 12:32
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I was a stay at home mom of 4 wonderful kids and financially dependent. I was married for 25 yrs and finally left him 3 years ago. The abuse was more psycological than physical, he threaten to kill me and then commit suicide. It was all about control, he did the shopping, paid the bills, filled my gas tank. All I did was take my kids to school, help with homework, study with them and attended school meetings. Now my oldest is 25 and my yougest 17. I am free, I am alive. Thanks be to God.
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A Fellow Human
@AFellowHuman
04 October, 06:13
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
IT'S THAT EVERYDAY THING. EVERYDAY I WILL THING. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU HAVE BEEN IN IT A WHILE.
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Iva Dragojević
@IvaDragojevic1
03 October, 11:51
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Unfortunately, this is true. I was one of them. It is called endorphins addiction and it is harder then heroin addiction. It is deeply connected with relationshio with your parents. It is very hard and painful to accept it, but I manage to escape it. It was years of abuse on every possible level and you feel like you deserve it. Sad thing. I hope every woman find the strength to do the brave thing and just leave
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03 October, 11:47
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I know for me it was my kids and I was a stay at home mom and financially dependent. Plus he scared me. It’s hard but I had my breaking point and finally did it after 16 years back in 2014. Now I am happy and in a wonderful marriage. Still sometimes deal with being self conscious from the emotional abuse I endured but its so much better and the fear I had about him is completly gone. I had more growth in that few years after I left him then in my entire life. It was soul training and I am so much stronger and more happy then I have ever been in my life. I know I can make it through anything now!!
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Marianne Risk
@Mari_anne
03 October, 11:38
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I had 2 friends who were amazing, smart & stunning women who stayed in abusive relationships. I genuinely had no idea at the time. I was young & didn't recognize the signs of control/manipulation. My husband did see it. I slowly asked indirect questions & would let them know they could stay with us. Both are now in healthy relationships. Only 1 did we help.
My MIL is a different story. She is a closet narcissist & I think she enjoyed the attention she got from it. She grew up in an amazing home & was offered a place + financial support to leave. She still wouldn't leave even for the safety of her children. My husband knew I would absolutely leave if he verbally or physically touched myself or our children. He broke the cycle b/c he understood.
So maybe teaching abusive red flags & listening/being there if you see it?? Doesn't sound like nearly enough.
Yo the victims, please know my ♥️ is not that I like it happened, but that you are loved, valued & supported.
My MIL is a different story. She is a closet narcissist & I think she enjoyed the attention she got from it. She grew up in an amazing home & was offered a place + financial support to leave. She still wouldn't leave even for the safety of her children. My husband knew I would absolutely leave if he verbally or physically touched myself or our children. He broke the cycle b/c he understood.
So maybe teaching abusive red flags & listening/being there if you see it?? Doesn't sound like nearly enough.
Yo the victims, please know my ♥️ is not that I like it happened, but that you are loved, valued & supported.
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Awake Elf
@Awake_Elf
04 October, 10:01
In response Marianne Risk to her Publication
My hubby has also broken the cycle, he lives with so many wounds and is the strongest man I know. Some of his childhood stories haunt me so much.
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Kerry McLaughlin
@Quiver
03 October, 11:27
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Your right it is a disorder . Like everything else wrong in this world....It stems from fear. And fear is not from God. As long as someone operates from fear they will continue to be bound to the evil one.
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LeLe John
@Grace1125
03 October, 11:20
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
many do not have a ‘safe space’ to turn too, shelters are not generally on the up and up, i know, ive been in many. finaces are also a big factor, control or using chdren against them. there are many thi gs that come into play but the biggest is having a Real alternative Safe Space.
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Jenna Bee
@JennaBee
03 October, 11:10
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I can speak from experience. Recently left everything because the abuse moved towards my eldest daughter after standing up for myself and refusing to tolerate the behavior. I witnessed my older brother being abused by my father growing up. All while protraying to outsiders that we were a normal, happy, family. I refuse to blame others for my issues and mistakes but, logically, it makes sense now why I put up with it for so long. That was "normal" for most of my life. I didn't recognize any major issues until I was too far in. Once I snapped to what was going on, I felt like it was my job to manage it and deescelate situations since I was the one who made the decision to be there in the first place. I watched my mother manage it for so long. It didn't seem so crazy at the time. I'm not sure how an outsider can help, other than listening when someone is speaking out and asking for help. When family/friends say they don't want to get involved/pick sides, they are picking the wrong side.
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Texas Cowgal
@Texascowgal
03 October, 11:21
In response Jenna Bee to her Publication
🙏🙏🙏
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Just Diana
@Diana19
03 October, 10:55
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Fear, They believe their life is in danger.
How will I live?
Everyone told me, they were no good and they were right...but they will find out and think I'm stupid.
And think about this.. Never met a man that came to the first date and said, I'm a mean ugly person, I will beat you, and I'm gonna make you love me and you won't leave.
The cycle of violence is handed down from abused mothers.
Gentle persuasion is all a friend can do, If you need me just call.
How will I live?
Everyone told me, they were no good and they were right...but they will find out and think I'm stupid.
And think about this.. Never met a man that came to the first date and said, I'm a mean ugly person, I will beat you, and I'm gonna make you love me and you won't leave.
The cycle of violence is handed down from abused mothers.
Gentle persuasion is all a friend can do, If you need me just call.
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Heather Steel384
@Heathers384
03 October, 10:53
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
I was in a very abusive relationship and I'm not sure I can even explain why I stayed. The abuser would often tell me he was going to kill me and how, ywt I fiercely stood by him. I come from a very loving family who respected each other. I don't know why I stayed with him. Looking back, it was as uf I was in a trance, brainwashed to think I was unworthy. My abuser died in an accident and at the time I didn't feel as though I could live without him, to the point that I attempted suicide. I thank God often that He didn’t take me too and I live each day with gratitude. I never understood why a person would stay with an abuser, nor did I ever think I would be in an abusive relationship. I was a strong, independent woman who had a lot going for me. It is still quite surreal to me that I let myself be in that situation. It is very easy to judge, but difficult to understand.
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03 October, 10:48
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
So many lack confidence in themselves. They don’t know their own worth. Build them up. Start showing them a different reality.
Then walking away from an abusive relationship it’s so scary.
Then walking away from an abusive relationship it’s so scary.
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