Chonita Nigus
@Chonita
03 October, 10:36
What is going on with women who refuse to leave an abusive relationship? I am seriously starting to believe it is some sort of disorder. I don't mean to insult anyone or judge them. No one knows what someone else is going through unless they walk in their shoes. I am genuinely trying to understand. How can people help?
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There are so many different situations in this.
Many are verbal abuse or abusive Narcissistic relationships.
Many are not abuse but circumstances surrounding children.
Nana never suffered ANY physical abuse. My ex had a clear understanding from day one that if he ever laid a hand on me the sob would have to sleep sometime.
Mine turned into a drug addict alcoholic, we had to go thro a period of treatment tries and waiting til the kids finally decided that he would never love them enough to stop.
He was a fried pie years later before he died. There is a point imo when ppl take so many drugs for so long that their mind is simply not recoverable.
His sister was the same. She died of an overdose the night my son was killed in a wreck.
Many are verbal abuse or abusive Narcissistic relationships.
Many are not abuse but circumstances surrounding children.
Nana never suffered ANY physical abuse. My ex had a clear understanding from day one that if he ever laid a hand on me the sob would have to sleep sometime.
Mine turned into a drug addict alcoholic, we had to go thro a period of treatment tries and waiting til the kids finally decided that he would never love them enough to stop.
He was a fried pie years later before he died. There is a point imo when ppl take so many drugs for so long that their mind is simply not recoverable.
His sister was the same. She died of an overdose the night my son was killed in a wreck.
06:09 AM - Oct 04, 2022
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Only people mentioned by SirHuckleberry in this post can reply
Chonita Nigus
@Chonita
04 October, 01:17
In response Angels Here -Z to her Publication
Thanks for sharing that Nana. Substance abuse is another situation I could not fathom being in. I am sorry for the loss of your son. Unimaginable. Sending you hugs and prayers.
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04 October, 01:38
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Don't get me wrong I do have empathy for ppl on drugs, but at the same time, with my ex and many other ppl thr out my life I have known I learned very quickly that if you want to help them you first have to realize a couple of FACTS & you have little affect on the results.
1. YOU can not make them stop, not thro force or love or any other means. It is a choice THEY ALONE have to make for themselves. Period. Full Stop!
2. Depending on their own constitution, you have to accept that it is a 50/50 shot of whether they will make that choice to stop & the consequences to themselves & to you if they chose not to stop.
As I mentioned if they choose not to stop they will eventually physically harm their brain &/or body to the point that survival will no longer be a choice they have control to make.
3. Either way you MUST not enable them & you MUST save yourself. You should make plans on the front end for how you or you& your children, if you have them, will survive without him or her.
1. YOU can not make them stop, not thro force or love or any other means. It is a choice THEY ALONE have to make for themselves. Period. Full Stop!
2. Depending on their own constitution, you have to accept that it is a 50/50 shot of whether they will make that choice to stop & the consequences to themselves & to you if they chose not to stop.
As I mentioned if they choose not to stop they will eventually physically harm their brain &/or body to the point that survival will no longer be a choice they have control to make.
3. Either way you MUST not enable them & you MUST save yourself. You should make plans on the front end for how you or you& your children, if you have them, will survive without him or her.
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04 October, 02:12
In response Chonita Nigus to her Publication
Part 2 drug treatment for addicts and homeless
While, no, in general I do not agree with the govt being able to hold ppl against their will, but we do it all the time in jails for other ppl that refuse to obey our laws.
This treatment would need to be in facilities of small homes for each person to empower them to be in a normal environment rather than in a mental hospital & for a min. of 6 months to a year depending on how they are doing. You can not get to the problem in 30 to 90 days. Our current treatment options are failures, period.
We get to the original problem thro treatment that caused the abuse of alcohol or drugs, which is always just their self treatment choice.
"Not a professional therapist" but more importantly have dealt with the issue in depth.
At some point also we have to face the fact that unless medbeds can fix mental issues there will be some ppl that should not live in the general population cause a danger to themselves & others & plan for them as well.
While, no, in general I do not agree with the govt being able to hold ppl against their will, but we do it all the time in jails for other ppl that refuse to obey our laws.
This treatment would need to be in facilities of small homes for each person to empower them to be in a normal environment rather than in a mental hospital & for a min. of 6 months to a year depending on how they are doing. You can not get to the problem in 30 to 90 days. Our current treatment options are failures, period.
We get to the original problem thro treatment that caused the abuse of alcohol or drugs, which is always just their self treatment choice.
"Not a professional therapist" but more importantly have dealt with the issue in depth.
At some point also we have to face the fact that unless medbeds can fix mental issues there will be some ppl that should not live in the general population cause a danger to themselves & others & plan for them as well.
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Loret Alen
@Lorettamusic
04 October, 09:53
In response Angels Here -Z to her Publication
Sending hugs and prayers Nana, thanks for sharing this. You are such an inspiring woman, being such a light to others after so much darkness fell on you. I am proud to call you "fren". :)
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05 October, 11:38
In response Loret Alen to his Publication
Thank you so sweet of you to say, love you too.
We all have things we have gone thr in life.
I had God with me the whole time, so I always had hope for tomorrow.
We all have things we have gone thr in life.
I had God with me the whole time, so I always had hope for tomorrow.
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