I love carefully explaining things to people (without condescension) using my gift of clarity, but every once in a while I have a "F**k me, why did I ever come to Planet Of The Morons?" moment.

Today's example: I wrote an article using an analogy of forced broccoli purchase as a parody for TV Licensing in the UK. At the end I used a literary flourish to say I might tolerate a punitive tax on Brussels sprouts. One person writes to me, taking this literally, to say I sunk my argument in the closing paragraph by opening the door again to unlimited taxation. Didn't get that this was a tongue in cheek quip for amusement only.

I just want to give up, score some dope, and mong out for a week. Humans are hopeless. Abandon the rescue attempt of this species — let's go do dogs, horses, and dolphins. They are smarter.