I know it's hard. I've been where you are. I didn't want to believe any of it. I remember being glued to the television set the day the Challenger went down.
I remember where I was on 9-11 (I think most people remember where they were that day as well). I "knew" I saw 2 planes fly into those towers. Then when you watch the videos years later, you realize these could not have been planes because planes could not have pierced steel in these towers, then you watch the planes and realize they weren't planes at all. I did however question the legitimacy of the plane in the Pentagon because a plane doesn't fly in at ground level, and there were no pieces of any plane ever found in PA where that plane supposedly crashed. No bodies either.
I believed Sandy Hook, Aurora theater shooting, Columbine shooting, Florida school shooting with David Hogg, etc, as well, but once you start researching all of them, they literally used THE SAME crisis actors in all of those events.