I’m sorry to be blunt, but you have been through a lot so far, you have to try to keep going. You know the saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I know 3 people that have commited suicide (several years ago, not for what is happening now) for much lesser reasons. One of them was my childhood best friend. I guess everyone has their breaking point, but you have to realize that the people that left you are not worth you killing yourself over. My family won’t see me for over 2 years. I won’t let it get to me or bring me down because I know they are brainwashed. I am sorry to hear about your wife. I’m sure it hurts like hell but you don’t want to be with her anyway right now if that’s the way it goes. I’m sure there may be two sides to the story, but you have only yourself to live for. Get out and try to look for another job, even if it doesn’t pay much at least it will help you not feel so lonely. Or work or volunteer at a place that gives free meals to workers. Hang in there.