My communication skills are rather weak, so for that I'm sorry. It's very difficult sometimes for me verbalize anything. I will sometimes go days not hearing my own voice. But I'm trying really hard to do my best to communicate what I'm thinking or feeling, I try to say the right things, but I do seem to fall a bit short of that quite often. I wish I could be as eloquent as our fren Martin but sadly I am not. Forgive me when I stumble over my words, try to be patient with me...I was abused in ways that speaking up would garner more punishment so going quiet when I messed up was a safety mechanism and so now every time I try to speak up it's a direct act of courage on my part. Try not to get too frustrated with me I know I can be such a pain at times but I promise you I'm trying, ok? 🤍

I’m not online enough to quite know why your message seems as if people are upset with your way of communicating. Or was this a way of sharing your internal struggle at times? Words are “created” in ever different language. No reason to categorize yourself on the outside, maybe you don’t like words, maybe your expression or language is more displayed in a form of creation.

But I understand what you mean by speaking of a trauma from the past molding your communication aspect. The fear of being scolded for speaking your mind or opinion certainly does create us as someone we weren’t meant to be. It’s not who we were or to be. That’s programmed deep in the subconscious now, for the safety of us and our feelings.

If you wish, I’ve learned that reliving the trauma is the only way to move away from it and heal. Re live it, feel it, forgive it, and heal from it. It’s not fun or easy, but you deserve to be you, not what someone else created that put a hold on your limits to you being fre

Sharing my internal struggle.
I have said for a long time, I wish I could convey massive amounts of information with a single touch. Wouldn't need to try and explain myself with my awkward clumsy words. I say the wrong things and get uncomfortable anxiety inducing silence in return and it eats away at my confidence over time.