I sometimes tell myself "Buck up! This is nothing compared to what those in the front lines of the military face." But on the other hand they do get a salary, structure, cameraderie, support, respect. I hope the work of anons in this war is understood in future. The psychological pressure and suffering for many has been severe and sustained. We turned up and fought regardless or whatever weakmesses or wobbles we came with.

This last part to get over the finishing line is painful. I feel it in my whole body; the years of stress being "out there" battling in public do take a toll in the end

There was a time, in my arrogance, that I though the pain and punisher was for them. All the nasties would be dealt with and voila! happy days. How small minded of me.
I have never run a marathon, but I think that a large group starting one is all excited and then they peel off for whatever reason. Many of us remain, blisters and worn out. It matters not who comes in first but that we finish.
There is so much I Feel that I have no words for. One thing I do know, my gratitude level for being here with fellow frens and Patriots is sky high.

NOT sure if this story matters but somehow yours reminds me of my true life experience. I was in a 5k while my husband ran the half marathon. I was in so much emotional and physical misery. I looked around and I was pretty certain I was dead last heading back. By the time we were done, I could barely inch my way accross the finish line as I was third to the last over it. We stayed for the refreshments and the prizes, but first the ribbon ceremony. Imagine myshock at first place. I was the only runner in my gender and age category to finish out of hundreds of others.