thanks everyone. i'm giving up - i have to. he's tried chlorine dioxide (made him violently ill).....tried the stephen bruhner protocol w/one of the myriad of docs/specialists he's seen over the last decade. antibiotics. herbal remedies. chinese medicine. it's in his brain - it's everywhere - unless a miracle cure comes out (that doesn't respond like chemotherapy on the body/immune system) - he ain't going to recover. bioweapons are designed to kill - slowly. for now - it's a nightmare to live with as it changes the person - esp. when it's in the brain. hell on myself and child too. but it is as it is - i'm used to being in hell and going it alone. and we're supposed to be loving towards those waking up. fuch that. i need to be given the love and respite for the trauma and hell i've lived - i want to LIVE again and be the kind of mama i know i am and can be.