21 January, 05:20
Part of me feels normal and fully functional. Another part is unwell and traumatised from (attempted) mass murder via psychological warfare and seeing so many friends and family succumb.
Any kind of interaction with authorities that took part is laden with dread. Silly simple admin stuff has me completely frozen. I stuck myself out there on behalf of this plan to save humanity, no regrets, can still see it unfolding. The silent and invisible weapons deny you the obvious bleeding wounds, so there is a secondary effect of belittling the actuality of getting injured.
Some of the usual supports one might turn to (priests, therapists, coaches) will harm you by being brainwashed themselves. Self-medication of the soul pain (alcohol, drugs, pharma) never goes well, makes it worse even, and that’s experience talking.
Relief that lasts is through having witnesses to the suffering (like AU and close frens) who themselves connect to the divine. Although maybe a pet helps… not tried it!
Any kind of interaction with authorities that took part is laden with dread. Silly simple admin stuff has me completely frozen. I stuck myself out there on behalf of this plan to save humanity, no regrets, can still see it unfolding. The silent and invisible weapons deny you the obvious bleeding wounds, so there is a secondary effect of belittling the actuality of getting injured.
Some of the usual supports one might turn to (priests, therapists, coaches) will harm you by being brainwashed themselves. Self-medication of the soul pain (alcohol, drugs, pharma) never goes well, makes it worse even, and that’s experience talking.
Relief that lasts is through having witnesses to the suffering (like AU and close frens) who themselves connect to the divine. Although maybe a pet helps… not tried it!
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Anything that brings levity is my goal. I think a pet is the answer. I accidently have two kittens. One is part Maine Coon. She is pretty cool and acts like a dog. She runs to the door and stretches her fat belly as her paws inch up the door when I come home. The other one is a tabby very sweet. She runs all around destroying things, but it's still funny.
05:45 PM - Jan 21, 2023
In response Martin Geddes to his Publication
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