hehehe

Hey, that is pretty cool...You trying to get a dance party started. I haven't listened to music all day and I am feeling quite anxious... I have tried to tell myself I was going to take a night off to chill and be down to earth instead flying all day and all night...but I CAN'T Quit working--it is the only thing keeping me from feeling sad :) So to elevate I just work all day and all night and never even open the beer I purchased so I can have a party I know I deserve to have. I keep telling myself it isn't okay to induldge in drinking because I have to set a good example for everyone else--but this act of perfection is starting to suffocate me and I cannot breathe--I cannot do anything other than sit in complet silence, without music because I am in an anxious place right now and don't know who to trust. I see infiltration everywhere and it feels like no one cares :(