Serah Oceane ♡
@QueenEsther
03 January, 10:47
Confession:
I went quiet on you guys, I walled off and shut you out and for that I'm sorry. 😔 I convinced myself no one cares anyways. I have struggled for a long time now with PTSD, anxiety and depression. You wouldn't even know it because I hide it so well 😅 I have lied and said I'm happy when I'm not so I didn't have to feel isolated. It's a constant internal battle to be honest about when I'm in pain because in the past it's been met with abandonment. I learned to perform so I wouldn't be alone. Even if I was in anguish inside you'd never know on the outside because I bury it. Even now as I type this I can feel that same fear that people will stop talking to me because I'm not posting only good things. I'm sorry I'm so fearful about sharing my negative emotions.
I went quiet on you guys, I walled off and shut you out and for that I'm sorry. 😔 I convinced myself no one cares anyways. I have struggled for a long time now with PTSD, anxiety and depression. You wouldn't even know it because I hide it so well 😅 I have lied and said I'm happy when I'm not so I didn't have to feel isolated. It's a constant internal battle to be honest about when I'm in pain because in the past it's been met with abandonment. I learned to perform so I wouldn't be alone. Even if I was in anguish inside you'd never know on the outside because I bury it. Even now as I type this I can feel that same fear that people will stop talking to me because I'm not posting only good things. I'm sorry I'm so fearful about sharing my negative emotions.
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Glad you took the leap and posted.
I found thankfully early in life that suffering only happens because we forget to get out of our head and be present with our attention looking out. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard work to practice this. It’s a daily connection we have to make that brings us closer to the light away from darkness. The longer you stay in the head the more energy you give the negative and the mind makes up stories and rules you.
Definitely helps to have encouragement from others. Love and hugs.❤️
I found thankfully early in life that suffering only happens because we forget to get out of our head and be present with our attention looking out. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard work to practice this. It’s a daily connection we have to make that brings us closer to the light away from darkness. The longer you stay in the head the more energy you give the negative and the mind makes up stories and rules you.
Definitely helps to have encouragement from others. Love and hugs.❤️
02:11 AM - Jan 07, 2023
In response Serah Oceane ♡ to her Publication
Only people mentioned by Irene_Nefelli in this post can reply
Serah Oceane ♡
@QueenEsther
07 January, 06:37
In response Irene Nefelli to her Publication
For sure the encouragement from my family here most certainly helped lift my spirit! 🕊🤍
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