Old habits die hard.
But seriously, i grew up the middle child in a terribly dysfunctional family. My parents were unhappy people who argued constantly and even had fist fights infront of us. Since i was the older boy i took the blame for everything and took serious bearing starting at age four. I was the only okid who got beatings and my brother and sister apparently enjoyed watching because they told my father every time i did something that would make him take his belt off. The beatings were accompanied by them screaming what a horrible kid i was who would never amount to anything.
Not surprisingly, Im not in touch with my siblings. They're very emotionally cold people but did well in their careers. I had lifelong problems asserting myself and never succeeded at anything. I actually went through with it about 8 years ago, taking pills and tying a bag over my head. But i took it off for a last cigarette and fell asleep. I still get depressed but there's too much to look forward t

@scifiwriter , looks like you have some stories to tell. Dig in deep, you're still here for a reason.

You are a survivor who can relate to others that have suffered similar trauma. Having someone who knows your pain is priceless to victims of abuse. There are many adults and children who must feel no one knows their pain. YOU DO! Keep sharing your experiences to let others know they are not alone. David, may God strengthen, protect, and bless you beyond measure. 🙏