A friend reminds me that I have real war wounds. Deplatforming is a personal attack, particularly for things like books and social media. Even republishing my work makes me feel anxious — my body recoils at the idea of going near these platforms again as I have been hurt so many times.

The invisible nature of the wound makes you self-critical; an internal gaslighting process can begin where you deny your own pain and accuse yourself of being a wuss. There is also an implicit physical threat. When I was first deplatformed off Medium I had to worry how far this attack might go. Racketeers with a Bolshevik background murder and maim as if it were a passionate hobby.

There is a discipline and restraint needed in dealing with "friends" and "allies" who claim to be against censorship but do nothing, and indeed revel in your discomfort. In some ways I would rather be shot at and have bullets whizz by and shrapnel wounds to show off.