In my telecoms career I helped to organise conferences, chaired events, ran workshops, and was sometimes a keynote type speaker in front of hundreds of people. Have had the TV cameras pointed in my face on many occasions. Not afraid of being in front of an audience. Yet I feel a loss inside right now. Have done the right thing by standing up and publicly fighting for truth. Just don't relish being a public figure; the infamy is from duty rather than desire. It's stressful being in the limelight, and I am a private person. All I want is for the historic record to capture that I "did the right thing right" when it mattered. The rest of my (certified crazy) life is my own business, and not for public viewing. Find it very uncomfortable when people who don't know me and my world want to put me on a pedestal; leads to yet more of the failed "idols, fame, celebrity" nonsense we are getting away from.