I no longer believe in God because I fear damnation.

At one time that may have been the case but it is not so now.
I believe in God because through my long years I have tried to be a good man and time and time again I have failed. I have seen my deeds done with the best intentions turn into acts of hate and destruction.
I do not have the ability to become the man I truly wish to be, the man who longs for God and walks the righteous path. I am not that man, not now, not ever. It is only through God and with his help that I can ever hope to be anything close. This is the reason I believe in God.
I know that I would not want to be something better if there were not already something better to show me the way.
I seek forgiveness and knowledge because I want to be better with every fiber of my being. But I can not alone.
To know I am loved when I find myself unworthy of it is Godly.
This is why I believe.
May the Lord help us all become righteous.

A simple prayer when I find myself lacking.

Father, please be merciful with us, as you teach us to walk humbly by Your side.

James, you are closer to Him than you know. It is the one who wants to destroy you that tells you that you aren’t enough. God says you are everything and the ransom has already been paid. Trust that all you go through, is for His glory. You cannot make a mistake that He cannot correct. We don’t fail Him when we make mistakes. We learn more about Him and ourselves. Nothing is wasted.