i actually did nothing to be ashamed of, to me i was the easiest daughter anyone could have had. that was my biggest flaw i guess. but i listened and colated material in my head for decades. what i saw. what worked. what didnt work, and when needed i saw the similarities of these actions and learned again. then it took off in so many ways. now i know why i am here and it was a quiet life and really boring in many ways. but i grew soo much in every other way.. why i am here today with so many like myself.