I agree that there has been an infiltration of something that is causing a lot of the suffering. It is very difficult to watch a child or loved one suffer, yet sometimes that suffering teaches a lesson that cannot be taught in any other way. I am not talking about individuals suffering egregious harm caused by other individuals, but an individual making a choice and learning a lesson from that choice. My observation is that there has to be some level of suffering for people to learn, but ideally there would be boundaries and a structure whether it be from parents or religion or society or family or friends. Example: I let my child choose things that I know are not going to work out well but the consequences are missing an event or an opportunity, not harming himself or others. Those skills where you teach how to work through different scenarios ideally are taught in childhood and continue through adulthood. In recovery a lot of people say "play the tape through" before you act.