I'm deteriorating. The kind of existence I have, there is no hope of me getting better without a med bed, but they won't let anyone have access to any of them! They keep promising the best is coming, something big is coming, but it's a repeat. A constant loop. What if this whole thing was a lie until there is nothing but death? But I need released from this! I can't do this anymore! For Godssake what do they want from me? A scream? Rage? In the end, I can't give them anything but a corpse to throw away in the pile they've already prepared.