The process of detachment - necessary to survive the emotional/spiritual attacks from those closest to my heart - has led me to a place of solitude and present moment awareness.

No longer do I plan for a personal future, create dreams, imagine my life here with family... I simply cannot see further anymore, nor do I seem to want to, nor do they seem to want me.

This has been replaced by a deeper feeling / pull... out, away, far, far away... where all this finally ends. I Am not the same as I was.

I feel sad letting go... of the life I held dear without the knowledge of what will replace the habit of those old dreams, of certain certainties I believed in that comforted....all been stripped away.

I have work to do along side with you all, but after we have fulfilled our calling, I feel I simply don't belong here/anywhere anymore.
Nothing fits.

not sad nor glad
just a feeling of there needs to be done
steady and on standby for the call
no hate just love