Joey, thank you for being so honest. Today is my birthday and I am in much the same situation. My two children live several states away and I only speak with one of them occasionally. I keep hope alive in my work with tutoring children online and keep going in hope of my children coming back to me some day. I stay busy and try to be strong in preparation for whatever God places in my path in the future. I was totally oblivious to COVID when it happened because I was working so much and then realized how God had moved me out of the classroom a year before the lockdowns so that I would be ready and set up to work from home. Nothing is impossible with God. Keep the faith and keep looking to Him for your needs. I have come to know that Jesus Christ is all I really need.