The more I try to have a better relationship with God and Jesus the more I've noticed attacks. Not from humans though, lately it's been shadow like figures.

I catch a glimpse and as fast as my eye is on it, it's gone. The trend has been, see figure, day or two later I'm really down and depressed.

The urge to slip into old habits is strong. It doesnt even feel like a conscious decsion its almost automatic.

Then I feel bad for failing and the cycle restarts. I'll break it, I have to. There's no other option.

Anyone else experience something similar?

I am going through that right this very minute!!!
So glad you mentioned this,,, The shadow figures dart and I catch a glimpse, never really focused, but I know they are there.
I too, have been trying to put aside "childish ways" only to backslide and say I will do better next time.
The feeling of melancholy has crept in, and once it is here, it is difficult to climb out of the hole.
I feel disconnected (today more than most days). Something is going on, that is for certain.
You are not alone!

It's been since the start of this month. It seems to have ramped up. Vicious cycle my friend.

If you ever need an ear or eyes feel free to bug me!