I am truly sorry to hear about your mother passing.
When I think about how my father passed ( a few years), I was grateful that he did not have to experience all the changes in the world today.
Instead of crying at his funeral, many of us laughed at the god times, and how he made us all feel safe. You were transformed by your mothers love and that makes you a better person. She would want you to remember the joy and happiness of the time you spent together. You are not alone, we all are here for you.