😂 “Welcome to the Department of Infinite Labels”

A modern satire by Gabrielle

I walked into the Department of Infinite Labels,
a government building so confusing it had two front doors—
both labeled “Entrance / Exit (Depending How You Feel Today).”

At the front desk sat a clerk with a rainbow of nametags:
He / She / They / Ze / Themself / Pending Review.
She looked at me kindly and said,

“What do you identify as today, dear?”

I said, “Hungry. Possibly late for lunch.”
She blinked. “That’s not on the form.”

They handed me a clipboard thicker than the Bible,
with sections for mood-based pronouns,
cosmic gender alignment, and lunar identity cycles.

By page five, I was asked if I resonated more with
fire energy, water energy, or wifi.

Behind me, someone shouted,

“Excuse me! My pronouns just updated!”
and the clerk replied,
“Congratulations! Please take a new number!”

I asked where the Human box went.
She whispered, “We retired that one. Too many app