You can lead a horse to water, but you can`t make him drink from the trough.

Think:

Alcohol.
Smoking,
Religion.
False idols.

When you are hooked on anyone of these to dull your senses and dull your mind, when you believe that any one of these is going to provide you with the answers you seek, you are wrong.

And when you have been brainwashed all your life it takes years to undo all the damage created by being malleable and gullible,
and believing that you just MAY have succumbed like any other form of abuse by any of the above, is at least a start on the road to redemption.