what would you do if someone was bad mouthing a family member because of a refusal to give them the equity in your home to placate a baby mama?

I am dealing with this.

Do I confront this person about saying crappy things and total lies about a family member?

Do I stay silent to not fuel the fire?

Yes, there are children involved and it involves a divorce (not mine).

I feel like this is so weird and I don't want to see a family member get scammed by the sketchy baby mama.

WTF gives her the right to think she is entitled to someone's assets (a senior citizen)

Basically, if she does not give them the money and pick put a cardboard box to live in, then she cannot see the children.

This is EVIL

If someone gives in to blackmail there is never an end to the control or greed. It is an all consuming fire. Giving in to it to see the children isn't going to work as that can always be used for more manipulation as soon as the baby mama gets the idea she wants more. These people are like children they see you'll cave and they know they "have" you.

💖

I have dealt with a similar situation. Never ever give in to manipulation. Once you start, it never ends. Bless her and hope you get to see the kiddo from time to time. If not, it’s not on you.