I’ve been married for 18 yrs and it has been a mess or a roller coaster. I will be honest, i was a dick and ungrateful, focusing on things that really were not important so my wife threw me out. For several months I sought for help for myself, not for my marriage. We got back together and things were going good. Then years later my wife lost her mom and that devastated her to the point that it took controlled of her and turned her I to a monster. I wanted a divorce at that point. Today I am going on almost 3 yrs since we separated, not for a divorce but sometimes you have to remove yourself from the bad so you can work on you! She has made a huge turnaround in her life. There is no coincidence that God is putting you through this. He is not testing you but teaching you something . . . both of you.