I have walked your path. I sought help from my pastor and he helped me understand many things. Unfortunately, despite marriage counseling my husband wanted to be out of our marriage. It is very hard, because I took my vows seriously and did not want to go against them. My best advice is stay close to God, pray, find a good spiritual counselor like a pastor. Journal as well. Seek a Christian marriage counselor that will help you both be able to discuss the situation. If divorce is the result know that God will guide you. He led me to a wonderful divorce recovery seminar which I soon became a faciltator myself, helping others; and eventually to a new Godly, faithful husband. You are stronger than you think when God directs your path. 😇