If we won already, why all of this psychological torture? That's how it feels to me, like torture. What is the purpose. Before my Dad died he was having a conversation with someone that he saw but nobody else did. All he kept saying was "I don't understand. But I don't understand." I wrote his side down on a piece of paper to look at later and my mom recently found it in her house and gave it to me recognizing my hand writing. It's how I feel now. I don't understand anything going on. I just don't get it.