I understand where you are at and many of us have been in that same space. I am not a super smart person nor a bible scholar but I do know that this road (the awakening) has been a rough one. I cant tell you how to think or believe but what I can say is this journey has actually brought me closer to God and my faith in Him and Jesus. Just from my stand point and limited knowledge of the Bible, I know we are in the Devil's playground right now. Things and events have to go down in a certain time and way for humanity to come out of this demon trap we have been living in. Now maybe that is why the Bible says the road is narrow because it is painful and tests our faith and belief. I dont know for sure and much of this is painful to learn but one way or the other, God promised us we win.

Sorry about the rambling. I am going to send you love and prayers for your journey.

I love the rambling! It's what I do, too. I guess the most important thing they tell us is to pray. Thank you for your prayers and love and please know my prayers and love are likewise for you and for all.